What to Look for in a Partner 😍

by Steve February 22nd, 2025

Finding the right person can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. I get it. I’ve been there—second-guessing myself, wondering if I’m being too picky, or worse, thinking maybe love just isn’t in the cards for me. But here’s what I’ve learned: finding the right partner isn’t about luck. It’s about knowing yourself, setting your standards, and believing that the right person is out there. Because they are.

Let’s chat about what really matters when looking for a partner—the stuff that goes beyond just “tall, dark, and handsome” or “kind with a great smile.”

Start with You

Before you can figure out who’s right for you, you need to know you. What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? A great relationship isn’t about someone else “completing” you—it’s about finding someone who fits into the life you’re already building.

Think about past relationships (or even past crushes). What worked? What didn’t? What kind of energy do you want around you? The more you understand yourself, the easier it is to recognise someone who truly clicks with you.

Know Your Dealbreakers (and Stick to Them!)

Let’s be real—it’s so easy to brush aside little red flags when you’re caught up in the excitement of something new. But if something really matters to you—whether it’s core values, how they handle conflict, or even lifestyle habits—don’t push it aside.

You’re not being “too picky.” You’re being honest about what you need. And let’s be real, ignoring dealbreakers only ever leads to frustration (or heartbreak) later on.

There Are Plenty More Fish in the Sea

Ever found yourself thinking, “What if I never meet someone like this again?” I have. And let me tell you—that mindset is dangerous. Because the truth is, the world is full of amazing people.

If a relationship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean you’ve “missed your chance.” It just means that wasn’t your person. Letting go of the wrong one makes space for the right one to come along.

Someone Somewhere is Looking for You Too

I know it’s easy to doubt this when you’re stuck in the dating struggle, but I guarantee you—there is someone out there who will love you for exactly who you are. No games, no second-guessing, no trying to mould yourself into what they want. Just real, effortless connection.

The key? Keep living your life, doing the things you love, and being your best self. The right person will fit into your world, not force you to change it.

Let’s Make This Real: Action Steps

If you’re serious about finding the right partner, try this:

Think About Your Past – What have you learned from previous relationships or crushes? What made you feel happy? What frustrated you? Write it down—it helps!
List Your Non-Negotiables – What are the things you need in a relationship? Honesty? Kindness? A shared love of dogs? Be clear about what really matters to you.
Be Honest About Your Dealbreakers – What things just don’t work for you? Maybe it’s smoking, or someone who avoids deep conversations. Whatever it is, own it and don’t settle.
Stop Making Excuses for “Almost Right” – If you find yourself constantly justifying someone’s behaviour, take a step back. The right person won’t need you to make excuses for them.
Trust That the Right One Will Come – Let go of the panic to “find someone” and focus on doing things that make you happy. When you’re enjoying life, the right person is much more likely to cross your path.