Dating in the modern world can be both exciting and nerve-wracking—especially for women. For me, it all began at 29 after the end of a serious, 9 year relationship. It wasn’t just a breakup; it was the close of a huge chapter that had shaped the majority of my adult life. Suddenly, I found myself in a world I had never known—the world of dating apps, meet-ups, and singles events. It was, quite frankly, terrifying.
I hadn’t grown up in a time where dating apps were the norm, and navigating this new scene felt overwhelming. Every thought felt like a potential minefield: Was it safe? Was I reading the other person’s intentions correctly? Should I text them back now or later? Do I even want to see them again? What on earth am I doing dating again!?
The challenges women face when entering or even re-entering the dating world are often underestimated, but after personal experiences or even hearing other people’s experiences – the fears are very real—whether it’s concerns about safety, being objectified, or even just the vulnerability of opening yourself up to someone new. It’s scary.
The Challenges Women Face
Stepping into the dating world—whether for the first time in years or after a long-term relationship—can feel like stepping into the unknown. For many women, it’s not just about finding a connection; it’s about navigating a whole host of emotions, fears, and uncertainties.
- Overcoming Vulnerability – Opening up again can feel like peeling back layers of protection that took years to build. After heartbreak, rebuilding confidence and rediscovering who you are outside of a past relationship can be one of the hardest parts of starting over.
- Safety Concerns – The biggest question on many women’s minds: Who am I really meeting? Should we stick to public spaces? Is a daytime walk safe? What if he doesn’t look like his picture? What if I’ve made a mistake? These thoughts can be overwhelming and after either personal experiences or hearing the experiences of others, with good reason, can be scary.
- Modern Dating Dynamics – Dating has changed. Apps, social media, and fast-paced communication have created a new set of unwritten rules, making it easy to feel out of place or unsure of how to navigate it all.
When I re-entered the dating world, I felt completely lost. I didn’t know where to start, and honestly, it felt awful for a whole host of reasons. But instead of letting that fear hold me back, I made a choice—to see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to rediscover myself, to let go of past hurts, and to break habits and mindsets that weren’t serving me (which was a bitter pill to swallow, but we’re human! No one is perfect).
I had to learn to trust my instincts and set clear boundaries (which, as a lifelong people-pleaser, was a challenge in itself!). I had to develop a new level of self-awareness—understanding what felt right, what didn’t, and learning how to communicate that confidently.
I’m still learning, as we all are, but I can honestly say I never imagined I could feel as happy and secure in myself as I do now. And that’s the real win—because when you’re truly happy in yourself, you show up as the best version of you: for your friends, your family, and for the right person when they come along.
Advice for Women in the Dating World
If you’re navigating this journey, whether for the first time or all over again, here’s a little advice from what I have learnt:
- Trust Your Instincts – If something doesn’t feel right, listen to that inner voice. It’s not paranoia; it’s self-protection. You know yourself best.
- Prioritise Your Comfort – Set boundaries and stick to them. If you’re only comfortable meeting in public or taking things slowly, that’s perfectly fine. No need to apologise for prioritising your well-being.
- Be Open, But Take Your Time – Move at your own pace. Whether it’s attending an event or responding to a message, honour what feels right for you.
- Find Your Tribe – Surround yourself with people who support and understand you. The right community makes all the difference. Remember, a healthy couple is when two people fit into each other’s lives, not have one person’s world consumed by the other.
- Enjoy It! – I can’t tell you how many times I talked myself out of a date before I even went, filled with questions like: “What if he doesn’t like me?” or “What if I say the wrong thing?” or even, “What if I make a total t*t of myself?” But I’ve learnt to flip the narrative: “What if I don’t like him?” or “What if I’m just myself?” And if I do make a total t*t of myself, who cares? Not everyone will be your person, so why expect to be everyone else’s? Dating should be fun—two people getting to know each other, that’s it. If it works out, brilliant! If it doesn’t, it’s just another lesson in what you don’t want—a win-win for you.
- Most Importantly… Become secure in yourself – There was a time when my self-esteem depended entirely on the approval of others—family, friends, partners. If someone didn’t like me (or even the thought they didn’t like me), I’d agonise over why. What should I change? What did I do wrong? What if they didn’t want me doing that? But now? Honestly f*ck that dependant mind set. That’s not to say we shouldn’t grow or strive to be better people, but at the core, I like who I am and if I’m not someone’s cup of tea, that’s completely fine! Chances are, they’re not mine either. No drama, no “why me?”—just the realisation that in a world full of wonderfully weird individuals, it’s not rejection, it’s simply redirection.
Most people who go to events or dates are nervous, so give yourself a break and enjoy it! The reality is that everyone’s just trying to figure it out, one date at a time. You’re doing this for yourself, no one else so trust what you feel and what you want.
Why Date to Remember Was Born
My own experience of stepping back into the dating world was one of the driving forces behind starting Date to Remember. I didn’t want another speed-dating event or an overcrowded, impersonal night out. What we envisioned was something much more: a safe, welcoming space where singles could genuinely connect over shared experiences and activities. We wanted to foster an environment that felt like meeting new people through shared moments rather than a high-pressure date night.
Every date should feel like a date to remember—and that’s the kind of experience we hope to create for others. Whether you’re re-entering the dating world or simply looking for new connections, there’s a space for you here.