Let’s Talk About Clarity in Dating
Dating without knowing what you really want is kind of like getting into a taxi without a destination—you might end up going in circles and feeling frustrated. And honestly, so many of us have been there.
Some people date because they’re looking for a deep connection, while others might just be looking for company or validation. And that’s totally okay! But figuring out what you truly want can save you a lot of time and heartache.
Are You Looking for a Relationship or Just a Distraction?
Before you dive into dating, take a moment to check in with yourself:
- Do I really want a relationship, or just for someone to be there?
- Am I dating because I feel ready, or because I feel like I should be?
- Do I like this person, or do I just like the idea of being with someone?
Relationships can be amazing, but they aren’t a quick fix for boredom, low self-worth, or loneliness. Those are things we all have to work through on our own, and that’s totally normal. We’ve all been there.
Being Upfront Helps Everyone
If you’re looking for something serious, it’s okay to set that standard. If you’re just exploring or keeping things casual, that’s fine too—just be honest about it. The key is making sure both you and the other person are on the same page, so no one ends up feeling hurt or misled.
Clear expectations lead to better experiences for everyone involved. When you own what you want, you naturally align with people who feel the same way.
Forget Other People’s Timelines
It’s so easy to feel like you should be in a relationship just because your friends are settling down, or because society sometimes makes single life seem like it’s missing something. But there’s no “right” timeline for love. You’re not behind, and you’re not missing out. You’re exactly where you need to be.
If you’re not ready for a relationship, that’s okay. If you are, that’s great too! Just make sure you’re doing it for you, not because of outside pressure.
What Happens When You Avoid This Conversation?
- You might attract people who aren’t a good fit because you’re unclear about what you want.
- You could end up in situations that don’t truly make you happy.
- Misaligned expectations can lead to unnecessary heartache.
How to Get Clear on What You Want
- Check in with yourself – What kind of relationship would genuinely make you happy? What values matter most to you? What kind of connection are you looking for?
- Be honest with the people you meet – If you’re looking for something serious, don’t downplay it. If you’re not ready for commitment, be upfront about that too.
- Trust the process – When you’re clear about what you want, the right people will naturally fit into your life, and the wrong ones will fade away. And that’s a good thing!
You’ve Got This
Dating doesn’t have to feel confusing or exhausting. When you get clear on what you want and communicate it with confidence, everything starts to feel a lot simpler. And no matter where you are in your journey, just know—you’re doing great.